Monday, March 05, 2007

The opposite of optimistic

Today I'm not feeling very hopeful about Kaswyn's recovery and return to work.

Maybe all of the treatments, vet bills, hand walking, etc, have finally worn me down. Because of this, I'm having a hard time deciding what is my next move if he's not sound after this shock wave treatment. Sure, I should probably just wait and see if he's sound or not, but I always have to play the "what if" game.

Today, with my current blue mood, I'm thinking that if he's not sound at the end of the month that he needs to be retired. Just writing that brings tears to my eyes, because he doesn't want to retire any more than I want him to. But how much more of this can we take? Both emtionally and financially?

Somebody give me some hope. Or chocolate.


Rising Rainbow said...

Chocolate sounds good! I know I have those times when my breeding business isn't going like I'd hoped. I'm not getting horses sold and I feel like it's time to quit. It's hard to wade through. The uncertainty is the killer.

I hope you get it all figured out in whatever way is best for both of you. In the meantime, more chocolate is good.

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