And the winners are...

I gotta say it was really hard to pick winners. I stayed away from any jokes that I got duplicates from. Sorry guys, I loved the book/bible joke but I got it 3 times so I had to skip it. Also the long face joke. :)

Alyssa Freden wrote:

How do you tell when a dressage rider is dead?
The wine bottle is still full.

mydandylonglegs wrote:

Here's a comic for you:

http://www.theideaoforder.com/?id=110

(Actually lots of the cartoons on this page are funny! Check it out! DM)

MyLittlePonies wrote:

A Preacher wanted to raise money for his church and, being told there were fortunes in race horses, he decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so steep he ended up buying a donkey instead. 

He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races, and to his surprise the donkey came in third. The next day the racing sheets carried the headlines, "Preacher's Ass shows" 

The Preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the races again and this time he won! The papers said, "Preacher's Ass out in Front" 

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The newspaper printed this headline, "Bishop Scratches Preacher's Ass" 

This was just too much for the Bishop and he ordered the Preacher to get rid of the animal. The Preacher decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The headlines the next day read, "Nun has the Best Ass in Town"

The Bishop fainted. He informed the Nun that she would have to dispose of the donkey and she finally found a farmer who was willing to buy it for $10.00. The paper states, "Nun Peddles Ass for Ten Bucks" 

They buried the Bishop the next day.

Olivia wrote: 

What do you call a promiscuous pony? 

A Little Whorse

Jenny Jesperson wrote:

One day a man passed by a farm and saw a beautiful horse. Hoping to buy the animal, he said to the farmer: "I think your horse looks pretty good, so I'll give you $500 for him." 

"He doesn't look so good, and he's not for sale," the farmer said. The man insisted, "I think he looks just fine and I'll up the price to $1,000." "He doesn't look so good," the farmer said, "but if you want him that much, he's yours." 

The next day the man came back raging mad. He went up to the farmer and screamed, "You sold me a blind horse. You cheated me!"

The farmer calmly replied, "I told you he didn't look so good, didn't I?"

-------------------------

So there are your winners! Please send me your full names and addresses to dressagemomblog@yahoo.com so I can get your goodies out to you. 

Thanks and well done everyone! 

Contest results coming...

So I had some technical difficulties, but I'm now sorting through all the jokes that y'all sent in.  It was great fun to get them all, and now I just have to go through and decide which ones to choose.  

Thank you all for playing along.  Winners coming soon!  

That's more like it

Now I'm getting the jokes rolling in!  Yay on you guys!  

Keep em coming.  :)

I have long posts to write about both Phil and Kaswyn.  But I'm tied up at the moment with this work thing until the 19th.  So after that, expect horse-type updates.  There is just no way I have the energy to get into that right now.  

I'll get there though, don't worry!  

Hello?

I know I haven't posted as much as I used to, but I haven't gotten one joke for the Absorbine give-away.  And I have five try-packs to give away! 

Nobody has any jokes?  You don't have to make them up yourselves.  Look one up!  Steal one from your trainer!

Send me something, people, please!  Comment here, go to my Facebook page, or email them to dressagemomblog@yahoo.com.  

Make me laugh and get some free stuff from Absorbine

You guys all know how much I love Absorbine stuff. 

Well, Absorbine is letting me give away 5 limited edition Try-Paks of Absorbine goodies. The ShowSheen Try-Pak offers 4 oz. travel sizes of their best-selling ShowSheen Hair Polish, plus ShowSheen Stain Remover & Whitener and 2-in-1 Shampoo& Conditioner. 

To win one of these free Try-Paks, send me a horse-related joke. It can be a joke, cartoon, or photo, whatever you think is funny and has to do with horses and riding. Send them as comments on this post, post them on my Facebook page, or email them to me at dressagemomblog@yahoo.com. I'll pick the winner on May 14, so you have 10 days or so.

Make me laugh - just remember to KEEP IT CLEAN! Good luck!

Strap what on?

I rode Phil and Tuesday and he was being pretty cooperative, considering the thunderstorm and rain that rolled in a few minutes into our ride.  Since I was able to concentrate on something other than him, I was thinking about my position.  I tried to envision two fantastic riders that I've seen and keep my position like they do - my trainer and Courtney King-Dye.  This would prove to be ironic, considering what happened during the last part of my ride.  

There was a bit of hair that kept falling in my face.  It was really starting to bug me, and I kept pushing it out of the way.  After moving it out of my face for the third time, I realized I was touching my head.  I should not my able to touch my head if I was wearing a helmet. 

I completely forgot to put my helmet on.  

Before I had kids, I only wore a helmet (I actually just typoed there and wrote helpmet... interesting) when showing.  After I had Lily almost ten years ago, I decided that I owed it to my kids to wear a helmet.  Of course after Coutney's accident many more people are "strapping one on", especially in the dressage community.  I'm sure most of you have heard of this fantastic organization, inspired by Courtney's accident - Riders 4 Helmets.  If not, go take a look.  

Anyhow, since I decided to wear a helmet while riding I've never knowingly decided not to wear one.  Twice during the winter I got on Kaswyn without one, and that was purely a function of "I already have something on my head so I'm good to go."  Too bad it was a winter hat that would have done nothing to save me from cracking my skull.  

I know what happened to make me forget to helmet up.  When I gathered all my equipment together I ended up hanging my helmet up on a hook that I usually don't use.  Out of sight, out of mind I suppose.  Or just a break in routine got the better of me.  

Once I realized that my head was bare, I ended the riding session.  We were almost done anyway, and thankfully nothing dangerous occurred.  

When I got back to the barn to get Kaswyn ready for a walk, I put my helmet on top of his bareback pad where I was sure NOT to miss it.  And I put it on.  See, I can learn!  

Everyone, please wear your helmets.  You never know what might happen.  You wear a seatbelt, right?  Just strap one on.  

(I love this shirt from Riders 4 Helmets. But it's sold out! :(  I love all the merchandise actually. Go here to visit their store!) 

I want to say it's over...

...but it's Ohio and I just don't believe we're quite done with winter yet.  

However, Sunday was nice enough to ride outside.  Not in the arena, but down the driveway.  It's really long and pretty straight, and right down the middle has really good footing!  

So Phil and I did our ride up and down the driveway.  Walk, trot and canter, and he was really good!  No big spooks or silly business.  It was great - a little chilly, and no sun, but just a light wind and no bugs.  I think Phil really liked it.  Look at that view.  What's not to like?  

Yeah, we're ready for winter to be over.