Because we needed something to focus on when we were blowing off work

My friend Meghan and I used to do research in the same lab. When you work in a lab it's generally accepted that you'll have hours of down time while you're waiting for gels to run or things to incubate for various reasons. At those times you're expected to be reading articles that are pertinent to your research, or other paperwork. You're not just supposed to goof off or surf the web.

Well Meghan and I did plenty goofing off. One day we were sitting in the kitchen area and were talking about the Seven Deadly Sins. Somehow we got on the topic of how there should be things that aren't deadly but still suck. We came up with the Seven Not-So-Deadly Misfortunes. This took us a few hours, during which time we should have been working. But as we came up with each one we would laugh and laugh. I might have even peed just a little. We knew that we shouldn't be calling attention to the fact that we weren't doing work, but we really didn't care. It was so damn funny. I know that other people working there frowned upon our activities that day, and our bosses might have even received complaints. Ah well. We didn't get fired or anything, so pfft!

We wrote them down on a napkin, which Meghan kept in her desk for years. Every so often we'd pull it out and laugh until we cried, every time. I think that napkin was thrown away when Meghan quit that job and cleaned out her desk. Unfortunate.

Today I had reason to recall the Seven Not-So-Deadly Misfortunes, but couldn't remember them all. I headed over to Meghan's desk and we re-visited the list. And, of course, laughed a lot while doing it. The following might not be exactly the original list, but we think it's pretty close. And freakin' hilarious.

1) Halitosis
2) Flatulence
3) Purulence
4) Curpulence
5) Repugnance
6) Putresence
and lastly,
7) Stupidity