Thursday, December 02, 2010

Not good. Not good at all. Part 3.

Part 1
Part 2

We walked into the main exam room. The staff started taking his sheet off, taking his temp, heart rate, all of his vitals, and unwrapping the leg. Then Doc came in. I had briefed him on the phone so he knew what was going on. He asked what medications he had gotten, and I told him about the 2 grams of bute 45 minutes ago.

He examined the leg, then ordered two kinds of antibiotics, banamine (for the pain and the swelling) and dexamethasone (steriod anti-inflammatory). He injected Kaswyn with all four, then gave specific instructions on how he wanted the leg wrapped.

Five minutes later Kaswyn looked better already. I said "I'd like him to spend the night here." and Doc said "Oh sure." and I said "I don't care how long he stays...." and Doc said "Me either. We'll keep him here until we get this cleared up. Don't you worry"

But I DO worry.

I asked him if he thought I did the right thing or if I over-reacted. He said "Of course you did the right thing - did you see how lame he was?"

We walked Kaswyn over to a stall and they fed him some dinner. He was already putting much more weight on his leg, and the shaking had stopped. He looked SO much better. It was such a relief.

I said to Doc "So what are you thinking is going on?" and he said "Infection? Possibly. Irritation from the wrap? Also possible. But don't worry, he'll be fine."

I said, tearing up again "But I DO worry."

He put his arm around my shoulders and said "Look, we're going to take care of him. Go home tonight and try to relax. Have a glass of wine or something. We'll call you tomorrow. He'll be just fine. You did the right thing."

So I left Kaswyn there, and came home.

Unfortunately, when I got home my husband was pretty upset. Not exactly at me, but just at the situation. The past week has been filled with horse drama... EXPENSIVE horse drama at that. And when horse drama happens he has to be basically a single parent while I sort it all out. I know it's unfair, and it's costly, and I'm sorry it sucks so much. I know he just hates to see me hurting and upset.

Then my dad called, and we chatted about some other stuff, and just before we got off the phone he said "So, anything else going on?" So I gave him the simple version. I could just hear it in his voice. Not "Oh, your poor horse." or "I'm sure that's very hard for you." but "How much is THAT going to cost you?"

See, I'd like to say that I'm rich or something, and that spending lots of money on my horse's vet bills is no big deal. But that is not the case. Like most horse owners, we're in debt. It's really hard sometimes to know that people don't really understand why I do what I do for my horse. However, I understand why my actions are puzzling.

Without my horse, we wouldn't be in debt.

Without my horse, I'd have more free time.

Without my horse, we could go on family vacations that we could afford that don't involve staying at a relatives house.

Without my horse, my house would be cleaner.

Without my horse, I could cook dinner every night (Ok, maybe not every night. Nobody, including me, likes my cooking that much)


Without my horse, I'd be less whole.

Maybe that's the only thing that people really need to understand.

To be continued...

Part 4


Tammy said...

Your actions aren't puzzling at all to another horse owner. You are doing what you have to do.

Stacey Kimmel-Smith said...

Sheri, I just posted on the topic of horses and husbands -- similar theme.

I'm glad Kaswyn is better.

Michelle (Derbygal) said...

I'm so glad Kaswyn is in good hands, and sure he will get better. Being a well-loved horse is also great medicine.

Have you ever heard this one? "Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion. It seizes a person whole and, once it has done so, he will have to accept that his life will be radically changed."- R. W. Emerson

Non-horsey people will never understand fully. My Dad is the same way: he thinks horses are too dangerous and too expensive, and "I am much too old to be playing around with ponies." And my husband gets aggrataved sometimes that I am at the barn so much (but luckily, hunting is a passion for him as much as horses for me, so he gets it a little more). Don't get down. Without Kaswyn, you wouldn't be whole, and life is too short not to be passionate about something. (Sorry for the long post...its my way of passing on a hug, and telling you it will all be okay!)

JJ said...

:( The things is, other horse owners/lovers know exactly where you're coming from. Hang in there!

I truly hope that whatever it is that's got Kaswyn so lame, isn't serious and that he's better soon!

achieve1dream said...

I'm sorry you're stressed. I know how you feel because I worry too, even if everyone says it will be okay. I'm glad he'd improved so much by the time you left. I'm sure he will be fine. And yes you did do the right thing.

Just ignore your dad. My mom is the exact same way. I just don't pay any attention to it anymore. She isn't a horse person and will never understand how I feel about them. And yes all those things are true, but I think being whole and happy are more important than an immaculate house or more money. :D *hugs*

Rebecca said...

I hear you on all counts. I have the same arguement coming from my resident boyfriend. Without the horses, there would be no poop getting tracked thru the kitchen, we would spend more time together, the house would be cleaner, I wouldnt smell like horse all the time....the list goes on. I know the horses cost me bookoo bucks to keep and I am so far from rich I can barely spell the word. But I also know that without them, I would be miserable and alone, even with the resident boyfriend around all the time. Its a hard battle to wage, my heart is with you on this one for sure. :)

Scarlett said...

ah, and so is the conflict between "Dressage" and "Mom".

I'm single, no kids. And 35. I wonder often if I truly decide to dedicate myself to my Dressage if I would ever have time to do justice to a family.

Especially with my job - now, if I could quit my job, and be a Mom and Dressage rider - dude, I'm THERE. But that requires a rich husband, and as I am short a boyfriend, much less a rich one, I go back to the original sadness...

I'm not torn like you - and part of me makes that sad. But then again, part of me is grateful I don't have that added stress.

Regardless, cheering you on from Vegas!

-Suzi, another Arabian Dressage rider

Header Image from Bangbouh @ Flickr