Hello, Dr. B? - Part 2

Part 1

Dr. B and his assistant arrived about 35 minutes later. I knew what doc was going to do when he got there, because he told me what his plan had been the last time he came out and found my horse to be sound. He first had me lunge him, and confirmed that he was off. He didn't want to say lame, just a little off. Then we took him out and get him scrubbed up for a nerve block.

He wanted to block the leg to be sure he was correct about what area was the problem. First he blocked out just above the fetlock. We waited ten minutes, then again lunged him. I didn't think he looked better, but doc said he thought he was 50% better. Then Kaswyn was scrubbed again and blocked at the origin of the suspensory - not because he thinks he has a suspensory tear but because that block will block out the splint area. Next time on the lunge line he was almost completely sound, and starting carrying on a little bit on the lunge line with his head high. All the other times he had his head really low and looked dejected and withdrawn.

So, fine. We know that we are in fact dealing with the same problem area. Doc said what he wanted to do is inject it with cortisone. That would take away the inflammatory response and cool the area down and hopefully get it to heal.

I had some questions first. Why hadn't this healed already? Will it ever heal? Or is this something that he's not going to come back from?

Dr. B said he's surprised that Kaswyn still has this problem. In his opinion this injury should have healed up and been a non-issue by now, considering that radiographically the injury is just not that bad. He's got two theories of what might be happening with Kaswyn, and neither are common but both are possible. When a horse "pops a splint" you can usually see a large lump right under the knee. This is not the bone itself, but connective tissue on the bone that tears away and becomes inflamed. Usually these look ugly but once they get hard and heal they don't cause any more pain. Theory #1 is that instead of the splint popping out that it popped in, and that connective tissue is causing issues.

Theory # 2...there is a nerve that runs under the splint bone. It's possible that, either due to the connective tissue popping in or some bone calcification on the inside of the bone, the nerve is getting pinched between the splint bone and cannon bone. He said the pinched nerve could explain why he's okay sometimes and off sometimes. It could also explain why it's causing him so much pain from an injury that is not severe.

The problem with both theories is he doesn't know how to diagnose them, let alone treat them. If it's either problem they aren't showing up on x-ray or ultrasound. He is going to talk to Dr. G about it and do some more networking to get some ideas about how to get to the bottom of this. Until then, his suggestion is to inject cortisone into the area, because that will help with all the scenarios.

I had told myself that I wasn't going to stick another needle in my horse. That the next time he was off I was just going to lay him off for awhile. But then listening to doc made me realize that if it's not the original injury that we thought (splint bone torn away from cannon bone) but if it's either calcified connective tissue inside the splint bone or a pinched nerve that time off will not solve that. Mother nature can heal the original theory of the injury, but she can't break down calcifications or stop a pinched nerve.

I told him to inject Kaswyn. Then I wanted to know this - what next? At what point will we know what we've got? The answer - if he stays sound for months, then it's the original injury and it will eventually heal with cortisone and time. But if I start him up again and he's lame in a few weeks, then we've got something else. Something that maybe can't be diagnosed, and therefore can't be treated. Or cured.

Craig and I had a discussion last night about Kaswyn. The question is how much longer am I going to try to fix Kaswyn? Are the treatments and diagnostics just going to get more and more expensive, experimental, and questionable? Am I ever going to give up?

I don't really have an answer. So far I have not been told that Kaswyn is not treatable. If Dr. B were to say "He was this. We can't fix this. It's over. Stop riding him.", then I would. But he hasn't said that. I feel like were so close to fixing this. Kaswyn gives me such good rides sometimes, I just feel like we're almost there. Maybe I'm fooling myself.

Craig says he doesn't see how I can get any enjoyment out of my horse anymore - that all he gives me is worry and sorrow. That's really not true. If we never set foot in the show ring again, I'd be happy if I could at least have the same relationship with him as far as riding goes. If you've never had a true connection with a horse then you can't really understand what I'm talking about. It's nonverbal communication where you and your horse are working together, and both really enjoying it. My horse loves it when I ride him, and I love to do it. We have fun together.

Even if I could just trail ride him I'd be happy. The other day we walked down the drive way and down the road. We were out for almost 25 minutes and it was cold, grey, and we got snowed on a little. But I talked to him and he listened, and I felt very connected to him. I rode bareback, in a halter (with my helmet of course) so I could feel his back working under me. At one point I heard what I thought was a car behind me, but glancing quickly over my shoulder I didn't see anything. But I could still hear something. That's when I saw a man on a mountain bike in a bright neon green raincoat come up on us to our left. Kaswyn saw it at the same time, and since he hadn't seen a bike in years and the fact that the raincoat was bright and flapping I thought he'd spook. He jerked his head up, and I laid my hand on his shoulder and said "It's okay, boy. Just a bike. You're fine." Immediately he relaxed, licked his lips, and walked on without a care (although still watching the bike with curiosity). He trusts me. And I know he loves me. That little ride down the road was so much fun for me because of our connection, not because of what we were doing.

I know everyone thinks their horse is great, but I have to say that this animal is one in a million. He's simply not replaceable. I have to do everything I can to fix him. I can make more money. I can't make another Kaswyn.

If I could never sit on his back again, my heart would break into a million pieces.

So Kaswyn has five days off, then I'll ride him again. If he's sound, I'll take it day by day and hope those days stretch into months. And years.