Tuesday, June 13, 2006

This thing actually works?

Last Wednesday when I took Kaswyn to the vet, I took the day off of work. Since my appointment was early in the morning and the girls were at day care, I spent the afternoon cleaning the house. Now, I'm not the worlds best housekeeper. I really hate it when things are messy, so the house looks pretty neat most of the time. However, we seem to have areas of the house that are crap magnets. These are little pockets of space that seem to accumulate junk mail, things that need to be put away, broken items that need to be fixed, and just random stuff. Often times we just pile the shit up and see how high it will go before it either falls over or one of us cleans it up in disgust, all the while giving the big stink-eye to the other person as if to say "How could you let it get this bad?"

These things aside, the house appears to be relatively clean. But if you look closely, you'll see something that I try to ignore with every thread of my being. Dust. I hate to dust. Hate it. Dusting to me is like having a sucking chest wound. I'd much rather clean the bathrooms than dust. Or do laundry. I love doing laundry. But dust? Fuck that. It always seems like such a waste of time, because I never feel like I can get it all. Using a dust rag and spray does a crappy job, and even though the vacuum with the dusting attachemnt works better, it's clumsy and hard to maneuver. So I just don't dust. Problem solved!

Last week I was lamenting to my friend Meghan how much I hate to dust. She said she uses those Swiffer dusters. Now I have a history with Swiffer products, and it's not a good one. When we moved into the new house I thought one of the best things I could get for the hallway and kitchen floor would be a Swiffer. And a Swiffer wet to wash the floors with. On the commercials they pick up all the hair and little bits of crud on the floor, so I was sold. Craig, Mr. Doubtypants, assumed that neither wonder invention would work as well as they said it would. Well, he was right. Sure, the Swiffer dry picked up some stuff, but still left cat hair and dirt specks behind. The Swiffer wet is not all that wet, and you have to scrub it on the floor pretty vigorously to remove marks or spilled food. The problem with that is the pole attached to the Swiffer wet head is a flimsy snap-together jobbie that bends dangerously to a little bit of pressure. This means that I sweep the floor with either a broom or the vacuum cleaner, and Craig mops the floor (I don't like mopping either) with a regular old mop.

The house needed dusting, and I was desperate. I stopped by the store on my way home and picked up a pack of those Swiffer dusters. It really looked like another gimmicky piece of crap, but for $7 I thought I'd give it a try. And you know what? If it's a gimmicky piece of crap, then it's the BEST gimmicky piece of crap I ever spent $7 on. Those damn things work great! You know that lame commercial where the woman goes around with her Swiffer duster dusting everything, even her neighbor's house? I turned into that stupid lady, looking for more things to dust. I loathed myself, but could not help it. I was dusting, and it was effortless! Praise be!

Now if they could only make a Swiffer Sock Picker-Upper. It would be Craig's salvation. Or maybe mine.


dave said...

I have a love-hate relationship with Swiffer. I love the simplicity, but I hate the piece-of-shit handle. That is until now. Have you seen the new ads? The ones that say they have a "new, stronger handle"? Believe it or not, they actually do. Swiffer is my friend again.

Meghan said...

Told ya the shit works, Mansk! You should have asked me about the floor Swiffer. I could have told you that was a piece of crap. Can't weigh in on the wet one. But Swiffer dusters... rawk!

Garlanda said...

A swiffer sock picker upper? And you say your blog lacks comedy...

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